stuff

monsters.adoc

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+= Monster's Guide To Doom & Destruction & Stuff
+
+
+== WEIRDS
+
+Mondays:: A type of monster invented by Fred after he'd had a really bad day.
+He called it, a Monday, and it is almost impossible to describe.
+
+* It is bestowed with an extreme, but unknowable, intelligence.
+* It is extremely large, but is able to be wholly or partially ephemeral to
+  suit their needs.
+* It can take the shape of forests, castles, large bodies of water, airships,
+  or similar.
+* It can coalesce into a smaller, more substantial monster, but it rarely does.
+* Its heart is located somewhere inside it, but it can be hard to find, and it
+  never looks like a heart.
+* It eats happiness and shits out bad health.
+
+== OILS
+
+Garg Oil::
+    * Oily slime monster with wings.
+    * Can fly.
+    * Related to Slime.
+    * Drown attack.
+    * Oil splash attack.
+    * Resistant to piercing weapons.
+
+Gargle Oil::
+    * Thinner version of Garg Oil.
+    * Very slippery.
+    * Flammable.
+    * Resistant to piercing weapons.
+    * Resistant to slashing weapons.
+    * Can turn into slime puddle.
+    * Spray attack.
+    * Organic Compound Spray Attack.
+
+Targ Oil::
+    * Thicker and sticker version of Garg Oil.
+    * Stronger.
+    * Sticky attacks.
+    * Cannot fly, but wings are considered armor pieces.
+
+Farg Oil::
+    * Gargle Oil with powerful ranged attacks and spells.
+
+Gelatinous Pube::
+    * Disgustingly smelly seaweed thing
+
+Slime::
+A type of Oil, a slime is a semi-intelligent monster that can be made out of
+anything from rainwater to lava, these monsters are often highly caustic, and
+can constrict their opponents.
+
+When a slime is born, it is usually a few cubic centimeters in size, but as it
+consumes more and more material, it grows larger. Many slimes like to feed on
+living organic matter (people, plants, animals, etc.).
+
+Pooh-ma::
+A vicious wolf-like oily monster born in the sewers and waste pits of cities,
+military camps, and similar concentrations of feces.
+
+* Basically a dire-wolf made of feces.
+* Is technically a slime, but can also be classified as an undead, an orc, 
+  or even a golem, depending on its composition.
+* Strong.
+* Spreads diseases that can affect adventurers.
+* Stink breath weapon.
+* Claws.
+* Pooh-fling (throws own body parts at opponent, high damage, but loses own HP).
+* Resistance to piercing weapons (roll damage with disadvantage).
+* Resistance to fire (roll damage with disadvantage).
+* Usually antisocial, but can hunt in packs with its brothers.
+* It does not like the light (all checks are difficult when in bright light).
+
+B'ooze::
+* An ooze made of booze.
+
+== ORCS
+
+[quote,Oralix LeDique]
+Orcs are to trees what undeads to the Enlightened.
+
+Green and brown skinned creatures that are created when trees and large plants
+die from unnatural causes.
+
+* Orcs are a category containing  orcs, trolls, cyclops
+* Not gnolls, goblins or hobs.
+* Created completely from plant matter => green and brown skins.
+* They exude a kind of blight that slowly degenerates vegetation, which makes
+  the orcs stronger.
+* Boss Orcs can reverse their blight, killing off a few orcs and rapidly
+  increasing plant growth.
+* Continue to grow as long as there is nourishment (plant matter).
+* Sometimes destroy forests to create more orcs.
+* Only become undead if some outside force (such as an evil mage) turns them.
+* Tough, extreme pain tolerance, and high morale.
+* Individual orcs have animalistic intelligence, but sometimes a Great Leader
+  that can control or direct the entire army.
+* Die if they are kept away from an open sky for too long; they cannot be 
+  imprisoned in a donjon or inside any kind of building - they'll rot.
+* Breeder orcs are a kind of "queen" orc that can charm enlightened males into
+  mating with them, creating hybrid orc spawn.
+
+Hybrid Orcs::
+* Like nephilim
+* Intelligent
+* Independent
+* Very Powerful
+
+== UNDEADS
+
+* Undead creatures rise automatically. Especially if they have died from
+  traumatic events such as war, assault, and magical accidents.
+* Once slain, some undeads can rise again. Usually as less powerful beings.
+* Undeads almost always have worse stats than when they were alive.
+* Generally immune to fear.
+* Generally slower.
+* Generally able to see/sense in darkness.
+* Powerful undeads, such as liches, generally do not rise spontaneously.
+
+Mummy Troll::
+A troll (who is technically an Orc) that has been magically preserved, wrapped
+in magical bandages, and turned undead.
+
+Undeads of the Sea::
+Sailors and enlightened sea creatures can become undead.
+Sailors tend to walk towards shore and become a menace on the beaches and
+harbours of the world. Sea creatures tend to patrol their old territories and
+make a mess there.
+
+Crack-Ann:: Female undead Kraken. Rotten and spiteful. Poisonous and stinky
+bodily fluids ad nauseam.
+
+Old George::
+Male version of Crack-Ann. He's an elderly dude, who is slow and not as young
+as he was. Sailors have learned to navigate around him, and generally avoid
+him.
+
+== Bug Bears
+Combine a bug and a bear.
+
+* Many varieties
+* Some are mostly bug, some are mostly bear.
+* Some have wings, some have mandibles, some have cute bear ears on exoskeletal
+  head.
+
+== GOBLIN
+
+* Evil type of gnome
+* A bit like Rask Gar.
+* Dark vision.
+* Not very fond of gnomes.
+* Cowards.
+* Power cycles:
+** Males are intelligent, cunning, and fierce.
+** Females are physically very strong and tough.
+** Goblins are less powerful during 12 "daytime" hours.
+** ?? On odd years males get a boost to their mental stats, and
+   on even years females get a boost to their physical stats.
+   This is universal. It means that, no matter where you are,
+   you either have clever males or strong females, it varies from year to year.
+* Specializes in:
+** Extremely unsafe mechanical engineering.
+** Narcotics and similar poisons.
+** Unstable blast powder.
+** Traps that are unfair, unstable, and unnecessarily gruesome.
+
+
+== AUTOMATA
+Golems
+
+== MIMIC
+
+* House Mimic: A mimic the size and shape of a house.
+* Fortress Mimic: A mimic the size and shape of a fortress, and with all
+  of the armaments too.
+
+== MISC
+
+Haggis (Hag, slime ??)::
+Disgusting smelly blob of vile spellcasting.
+
+
+Cognac::
+Much more awesome than a gin (djinn)